A dead, vacuum-packed duck in one hand and the latest vampire book in the other I walked through the village feeling put upon, and driven from my ecohouse retreat.
It's very startling to be summoned back from the American undead by a sepulchral voice saying,
"Signora."
Particularly when you have done your laps (still 21 degrees but it's getting close to being too cold) had a hot shower and are lying down in a deck chair with a glass of Campari and tonic. (I don't LIKE it with soda; I'd drink my lager with lime if I dared). At least I'd got out of my towel and into some clothes. My visitor had come to tell me 'per correttezza' (see fn) that at crack of dawn tomorrow the hunters would be opening the second front and killing everything that moved but mostly the boar. Watch it. It would all be over by 8.30 am, apart from removing the corpses.
Assured that Mr HG and I would be down in the village till lunchtime, I was left in peace to vampire gore, until.
"Signora."
Not again. What was this one planning to kill? Mistake. He was coming to tell me he was going to cut wood. All I needed. A woodcutter, on a Sunday, in the middle of a boar hunt. Despite the recession there can be no refusal of skilled working men. Would he need Mr HG? No the trees for the chop had been singled out. Did he know about the hunters? Sneer. By this time I had had enough, shut the house and stamped on the clutch all the way to the village, then stamped through with the dead duck. When I got to the house I found cloth of gold banners had been left to hang out of all the windows for the 'baroque masked figures' who had every intention of walking through this 'delightful medieoval and ancient centre', naturally accompanied by the very latest in Italian swimming pool music, until 2 o'clock in the morning - when they will all go straight up hill for the boar massacre, pausing only to arm themselves, and possibly remove their splendid clothes to be replaced by equally splendid war get up.
Mr HG had nipped out for a couple of fillet steaks, some oven chips, and a bowl of fruit. The salad will be tomato, naturally. How did he guess that duck a l'orange might lead to a hissy fit?
FN. Correttezza is right up there among impossible Italian words: go on, try. Every consonant should be clearly enunciated and that includes each one of the sounds in the doubles.
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5 comments:
Sounds like you need to hot foot back to Florence for some peace an quiet. Better still, come here.
We can promise a quiet bedroom with lots of TLC - AA
Florence is full of workmen hammering the common parts and refurbishing the window frames. Work goes slowly - they keep finding things that have to be covered back up again in a hurry or we'll be there all century. Another generation can restore that lot, it'll be all safe under the new plaster.
TLC - nearly as good as G&T. I'd like that Thank you.
We have been regaled with stories of the behaviour of Blacktown accused - you know the one about the spray-painted chickens? The path stealer? Evidently path stealing is the kind of issue old fashioned philosophers like to get their teeth into, I was assured by up to date philosophers present. Anyway, it was good to hear that law'n'order and its defence and prosecution is in appreciative hands.
Everyone has gone now, some back to work and others on even more holiday, and the man is coming to shut down the pool tomorrow.
OMG (Oh My God! ) as my girls would say, I hope the public defender did not scare you into not ever gracing these shores. Heard about the snake in the pool. Lucky he knew about the non venomous Italian species. The human Blacktown species are more scary! x AA Do think about a visit.
I liked the perspicacity of the policeman, noting that one of the chickens was still not dried led him to wonder if they'd been painted. The accidental spraying over the eyes that had them blundering into walls and temporary hen coop hadn't aroused his suspicions.
As you quite rightly do not fancy the long journey here I will just have to visit you. Looks like Spain is on the cards 2012. Shall pop in on the way to London via, (Claudia wants to go to New York. Anna - Italy, Phil - Spain and me Ireland.) Think it could be a round the world ticket.
Keep warm -AA
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